The state of student mental health

Now that summer break has come to a close, parents and educators alike steel themselves for the semester ahead, students explore new classrooms and mental health professionals prepare for an influx of new patients.

Rio Rancho Family Counseling Center is no exception. Although they had no waitlist in July, Michelle Welch, LMFT and clinical supervisor of the center, expected that to change with the start of school this month.

They see a range of kids, from ages 5-19, and have gotten inquiries about children as young as age 3.

Welch says it's the stress of school, including issues like making friends and transitioning into higher grade levels.

"Parents that are worried about their kids will call up, saying, 'I feel like they're not making friends,' or 'They have the wrong friend group,' or 'They're struggling with this and the anxiety is getting really bad,'" Welch said.

"Then you're not sure whose anxiety it is, the kid's or the parent's or both," Ruth Schofield, MFT and co-owner of the center, added.

Schofield and Welch have seen an increase in mental health concerns among youth, and Schofield attributes it to a toxic worldwide culture.

"You can sneeze and everybody in Africa knows it," she said, referring to how information circulates quickly through social media and the internet.

"Everybody's business is out there, whether they like it or not, in a lot of situations," Tina Garcia, a counselor at Rio Rancho High School said.

Schofield and Welch aren't the only ones who have seen an increase in students seeking their help. Garcia, along with other school counselors, report they have also been seeing more students for mental health concerns.

Ashley Aragon, a counselor at Cleveland High School, says that students come to her when they are having bad days, their anxiety is high or they want to discuss their mental state in general.

Katie Doss, a counselor at Vista Grande Elementary School and board president for the New Mexico School Counselor Association, says that students come for a variety of reasons, such as family loss, pet deaths, parent divorces and more. Doss describes these as typical stressors, but there are also other stressors, such as homelessness and poverty.

But Doss, Aragon, Welch, Schofield and Garcia all agree that one of the most prevalent stressors across all age groups are social media and technology.

Aragon agrees that social media drives anxiety, depression and concerns relating to self-worth in teens. She says that students look online and compare themselves to others or see what other students are saying about them, explaining that fellow students can be mean.

"I feel like a lot of it is identity. You see these things online and comparing yourselves or students saying other things about them online ... We're seeing a lot of that now, but I almost feel like it's kind of tied to that social media aspect on the internet," Aragon said.

"Even at (the elementary school) level, social media — or technology in general — is one of the biggest stressors. We see a huge difference between our fourth and fifth graders because that is usually when they get phones, that's when they have more exposure, they are starting to go on TikTok and Instagram," Doss said.

"The social interactions aren't nearly the same as middle school and high school. The bullying and the pressures of interacting with others and social media isn't the same, but having access to things that they shouldn't have access to is a huge stressor," Doss explained.

"Our younger kids are... coming in with a lot of anxiety about what's going to happen to the world. They'll walk in and say, 'I just heard that we're going into World War III,' and they're scared," Welch said. "Now we can spread stuff worldwide and kids have such access to it. It's not like the nightly news, when parents could send the kids to their bedroom, watch the news. ... It's in their faces constantly now."

"There's falsehood and truth that gets so intermixed. It's really hard to know. Where's reality? I mean, if it is for us as adults, for children, it's harder, because the kids pick up their parents' vibes," Schofield explained.

Garcia says that the key to navigating social media concerns is having as many open conversations as possible.

In the future, Welch hopes that people realize social media isn't working and opportunities will be made to be more social.

"I think what's going to happen, is that in time, the generation that is so buried in the internet is going to find it's boring. And boredom causes people to move out of where they are," Schofield said. "My hope is that we, as a society, become better at helping them navigate (the internet), because it's not their responsibility to navigate it by themselves. I hope as a society, we can teach them a better way. That way, they can avoid some of the pitfalls of previous generations."

Over at RRHS, Garcia, thinks the reason for the rising volume of mental health concerns has to do with an increase in risk factors.

"I think you have a lot of family stress, and I think our kids feel that. I think you have the technology, the social media, pressures that many don't fully have those skills to navigate — and it is very difficult to navigate at times — and it's hard to get away from social media," Garcia said.

All these stressors can lead to to unsafe behaviors.

Previously, Doss worked at a middle school, where she said she was comfortable dealing with self-harm and suicidal ideation. She was shocked when she started working at Vista Grande and discovered students were still making harmful comments about themselves. She explains that a majority of the time, the students are being dramatic and picking up phrases and language from media, like TV shows, but there are students who have led hard lives and deal with serious issues. She is seeing more students for these concerns post-COVID.

Even though COVID isn't as prevalent as an issue as it was four years ago, the effects of lockdown are still impacting children today. Doss says this is because the pandemic occurred during really important developmental times.

"From what I can see, a lot of these kids were at really impressionable social ages, like toddlers ... and that's when you are learning how to be this social person. And we know as humans, we're social beings. We want connection. We want other people and then all of a sudden, you stop."

Because these children were cut off from their peers, Doss says they weren't taught how to deal with harder problems and how to bounce back from them. When students don't know how to deal and bounce back, it can lead to angry or even violent outbursts.

When it comes to these encounters, Welch says that teachers aren't allowed to implement boundaries or consequences, and although she acknowledges that parents now have less time at home with their children, parents should dedicate more time to their kids as a preventative measure.

"I think kids need natural consequences. And it's not a beating, it's not getting punished. It's being educated. 'This is right, this is wrong.' But if you can't tell them that what they're doing is not OK, they don't know it. And they need to learn that at a very young age, that they're taking away a lot of the ability for teachers to help kids learn," she said

Doss says that parents can also model healthy coping strategies by communicating to their kids they've had a rough day and they need some a few minutes to themselves.

Garcia encourages her students to ask for help, telling them that it's OK to not be OK and nobody needs to go through it alone. She also reminds students that they have support networks around them.

"I think self-care is really, really big. Making sure you're doing things to take care of yourself. Oftentimes, kids tend to take on the weight of the world, and they lose sight of that. So remembering self-care, to take care of themselves and use their resources. We all have support networks. We all have people around us that will be there, and so remember to tap into to those people as much as possible," Garcia explained.

Many students support networks can include school counselors, but they aren't licensed to treat individuals for mental health care.

"We can't provide counseling to them. It's not something that we are able to do as school counselors," Aragon says. "Our job really is to work around that with more solution-type focus things and get them through their day and go through techniques for our kids that have that high anxiety, but also, too, recognizing if they need more than what our school counselor realm can provide."

Counselors can, however, provide resources and coping strategies. Aragon says that for many students, she recommends finding a calm space and taking deep breaths, including the box breathing method.

Welch and Schofield take a more individualized approach, agreeing that what works for one person may not work for everyone.

However, it is not only the increase of concerns that lead to an influx of individuals seeking help but a change in attitude. Welch says that there was a greater stigma around seeking help compared to today.

"A lot of people felt like it was bad to go (to therapy). 'That must mean I'm crazy. I can't go just for support help,'" she said of past attitudes.

Schofield adds that seeing a psychiatrist meant heavy-duty meds. "That meant you were kind of a walking zombie, so there was a lot of shame," she said.

Nowadays, people are more open to mental health care. Welch remarks that students don't hide they have therapists but rather refer one another to therapy and providers.

"There is much more of an openness and an acceptability of it, and kids are picking up on that,"

Because of that openness, students are reaching out to their parents; however, Garcia says now that students know what they need, parents aren't always ready to hear it.

Doss also says that just because students have the language now to express how they are feeling, they don't have the skills to handle those feelings.

Other times, students are uncommunicative about their thoughts and emotions. In those cases, Garcia recommends starting conversations and being persistent, or communicating with another adult they are close to.

Aragon also says that parents should keep lines of communication open with their children, and once children do reach out to their parents about their needs, Aragon says that parents shouldn't judge "right off the bat" and listen to what children have to say.

"Oftentimes kids don't feel heard," Garcia explains. "That's a common trend that they share, is that they feel like yes, they have somebody they can talk to, but they don't always feel heard, and that's very different. So just being there, being present, hearing them. Maybe we don't always understand why they feel the way they feel, or we feel like it's irrational, but the reality is, it's their reality, and we do have to remember to kind of meet them where they're at and what they need. So the more we can listen and be supportive, the better off that those students will be or that our kids will be."

There are also nonverbal cues parents can look out for when it comes to uncommunicative students.

"(Are) there changes in their behavior, do they look tired? Are there changes in their appearance? Have they been withdrawn from friends? Things that they used to want to do, are they not doing that anymore?" Aragon asks.

She also acknowledges that these signs can be missed, explaining she has three children and despite her training, she can miss things.

"You get so involved with the day-to-day things, but really just trying to be in tune to your kid as much as you can and keeping those lines of communication open. But also, if you're worried about something and you're like, 'I don't know what to do,' call your school counselor," Aragon explained.

She says she gets calls from parents asking for help. There are also times when parents will call, unsure if she is the right person to contact.

"Don't hesitate to make that call," she said.